Abortion - Who Can I talk to?

When going through something as harrowing as a pregnancy and abortion, one would fall apart without a support system. I will tell you about mine in both circumstances and hopefully someone will find their own.

The first time I found out I was pregnant, it was my roommate the predicted I was and she made me buy the test and waited for the results. In her, I had a friend and ally through the pregnancy and the decisions I made along the way. All of us go through the options after finding out about a pregnancy and deciding the next step. When my roommate found me considering keeping my baby, she put her foot down. I was 19, working 10 hours per week at Tim Hortons and the father had already stated he would have nothing to do with me or a baby. We decided on abortion as a team and she helped me through the turmoil of my morning sickness, hiding the pregnancy from those I love, and my eventual hospitalization (which I will discuss in a later post) due to hyperemesis gravidarum. I did have other friends help me through this time in my life, some close friends and others that I needed to lean on but I did make it.

The second one was harder because I knew the symptoms, knew I was pregnant and got the test alone. When I read the result, I locked myself in my bathroom and cried. My male roommate was upstairs and the only one in the house besides my boyfriend at the time, I walked in the room, told him I needed to talk and just started bawling. He held me until I could gather the words to tell him what happened. He then let me cry and helped me gather my thoughts. I had him and my ex-boyfriend through that one. It was harder because I hid it from may of my friends and I was working a lot more. I was puking in trash bins and missed a lot of work hours. I talked to my girlfriends, my ex-boyfriend and my roommate but I made the decision with my ex and we made it alone.

When it comes to having a support system there are things one must remember:
1. they must SUPPORT your decision to abort and not try to talk you out of it
2. they must be willing to face you are your worst in every way possible
3. they must be available to you 24/7
4. MOST IMPORTANTLY: they must be able to look at you after and know you did what was right for you.

I made the decision not to tell my parents, though many of you may choose to. Even though my mom is my best friend and I tell her everything, this is our one secret in 21 years. The last thing a scared pregnant girl needs is Mom & Dad telling her that they'll help her and she doesn't need to do it. Your decision is yours alone.

Whether it be a boyfriend, friend, sibling or parent find someone you can trust and keep them by your side through this thing. You can't do it alone, nobody can. I thought I could and I almost fell apart twice. Before and after are both hard times for a woman that is having an abortion; my second one was 6 months ago and I often still need to friend to talk to about it.

You are not alone.

Please feel free to post comments or questions.

Abortion - Is it wrong?

People are going to tell you that what you're considering doing is not okay, that you're a sinner or a murderer but I want you to know something... you are stronger than any of them.

For a woman to consider having an abortion it means she has truly decided she can not care for a child, which I believe to be a very adult decision. I made that decision for the first time when I was 19 years old. I was afraid; the guy that got me pregnant demanded I get rid of it, I was a student, I lived on my own and I was working 10 hours per week at a Tim Hortons. What condition was I in to be a parent? I knew that my only option was abortion because I know that I could never give a baby in to that system and I could never give a baby a good home.

You're never alone in thinking about or deciding to go through with an abortion. I have had two abortions and they were both decisions that I decided to make.

I will post whenever I can, sharing my experiences and I am happy to answer questions to young women that feel afraid or have questions. Many people are against what I did and I totally understand that to each their own but I will not tolerate anyone harassing women on this blog... they are already considering something you could never comprehend,

Please feel free to post comments or questions.